wb :

there you sit at the computer,
staring, staring,
staring,
staring.

the screen is bright enough,
does it reflect you, man?
a timer ticks away, bottom-right, right, beside
beside that number that shows how many megabytes
how much more memory that silicontraption has,
more memory?- you could always buy more
more for the precious pile of metal
the shiny heatsinks
the shiny chips
as you looked into those memory chips
did they reflect you, man?

or were they too bright, were they too bright?
were they too bright? too much light?
you could always lower the gamma
lower, yes, lower, a touch of a key
a flick of a switch, yes, lower the light,

the sound too loud perhaps? then turn it,
turn it down, turn it lower,
make it deathly silent. it is easy, is it not?

do you hear yourself in the silence, man?
do you hear?
do you hear breathing, do you hear?
do you hear beating, do you hear?
do you hear hearts and stomachs,
beats and growls over whirrs and whines?
can you hear yourself in that silence?

can you hear yourself over whirrs and whines,
that whirring noise of the many fans
those fans that fan the heart,
fan the heart of your computer?
will they ever burst in to fire, does it, does it
does it feel the heat that it makes itself?
does it feel, man? does it feel?
tell me, does it feel the cold of the room,
that cold that preserves its bones,
that cold you made to preserve its nerves,
even that cold that freezes your flesh?
can you feel it, man? can you feel it?
too cold, and a switch; too cold;
the air-conditioning goes down, down, lower,
and it is warmer, it is warmer for a while.

but you are afraid.
the heat, yes, the heat, will build,
build, build, build, until those chips fry,
fry, fry themselves in their own lard.
are you afraid of that, man?
are you afraid of that?

are you afraid of that, man?
are you afraid?

are you afraid of that?
go out of the room,
go out of the room,
go out of the room

out of the room
the room,
out of the room
and into the sunlight which you cannot,
cannot cannot adjust,
that sunlight, yellow light to strange eyes,
accustomed as you are to flickering white.
go into the sunlight, the sunlight,
and into uncomfortable, uncomfortable warmth
embrace the warmth,
the warmth that warms as much as it wants,
the warmth that you cannot adjust.
you were not born here,
you were not born to die here.
go out into the noise of the world, man,
go out into the noise of plate and pan
jackhammer car jogger ice-cream van
go out, go out, go out and then
go out again i know you will return here, man

go out go out, return here no more,
go out, you will return but
go out.

go out where you cannot control your destiny, man.
you are no god
you are no god
you were not meant to be god
you were not meant to be god
you were not meant to be god

you are not a god, you are not
you are not
you are not a god of order

you are a slave of chaos
a slave of chaos
slave of chaos
of chaos
chaos

go out, go out, where you are a slave
to sounds that you must hear,
light you must see,
warmth you must feel, oh man,
go out and feel the warmth that misses you.

you are no god on olympus, you cannot live in storms
you are no god, you are no god,
go out into the world that you missed,
go out into the world,
that you missed,
that misses you still, man.
go out into the world and live,
live like a man.

go out, go out. feel, see, hear.
feel, see, hear.
you have not felt anything but freeze.
you have not seen anything but glare.
you have not heard anything but whirr.
go out, man.

are you afraid, man? are you afraid?
are you afraid of chaos, chaos,
chaos that you cannot control, man?
go out, man.
go out,
go out where you cannot stare into it any longer.

does it reflect you?
does it reflect you, man?
does it reflect you?
can you look into it as a mirror,
can you look into it as a puddle,
can you look into it?
can it show you your face, man?
can it show you you?
this screen does not show you,
it does not show your life,
it does not show your life,
it does not show you.

you are no god, it lies to you.
you are no god, it lies. it lies.
it lies, it lies. it is perfect,
it is perfect,
it is perfect,

it is perfect.

it was built to be perfect,
know that, man. know that.
it was built, and built it was
for a purpose, built by men.
it was built for one purpose.
it was built to be perfect.
it is perfect.
it is perfect.

it is perfect.
it never forgets,
never forgetting,
it never forgets.
and so it lies.

go out, man.
you were made to forget.

-~-

a.n.: this is what many hours of system shock 2, a good hot shower, and an overdriving mind make.

Labels: poetry