Sunday, October 08, 2006

each line is supposed to be nine iambs, but blogger doesn't format it properly that way, so i've broken them into two sub-lines each.

-~-

at mountain's edge i had my birth-
        a nature-born emissary of rain
and for my water-bringing worth
        was always hearing praising songs, refrains
but past the hills and vales of time,
        no praise i heard from any land i saw
and no more did the stormy clime
        inspire human songs of dread and awe.

in ancient times, far i could see,
        they worshipped day and rightly feared the night
across the plains, and to the sea,
        the gods they had were sun and fire bright
but i begrudged them not the fact-
        the day and dark are nature, my own kin
and they, when by fierce droughts were wracked
        would once again welcome my darkened grin.

but now i drift across the skies,
        and see beneath no longer greenlands home
beneath the realm of stormclouds lies
        vast edifices built of deathly stone
and people shuffle aimlessly,
        while spires strike the god-forsaken sky
and whether rain or not, they flee,
        and leave the grey-grown world outside to die.

and though i am the storm-born wrath-
        i shake with all the might of thundrous zeus-
when men fear not my lightning staff,
        then in this world i know i have no use.

2 comments:

a adhiyatma said...

almost perfection, in terms of your meter and rhyme. all makes sense and flows, and I get the meaning.

My only complaint is that it seems to lack any level of profoundness, which is something even nature poets sought to include in their descriptions of nature.

But again, don't take that as too harsh a criticism. It works, and I like it, and it definitely has meaning. I just don't feel a kick when I read it, maybe I'm just not reading it right. But good job anyway :D

Derrick said...

haha i'm moving into meaninglessness of late.

Post a Comment