This night-
a room,
a chair
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10 comments:
Adam, plz go delete the comment. The haiku conveys a sense of isolation and loneliness to me... not sure if this what you meant, strikes me as impressionistic; but the image i get in my mind is very strong.
i'm filled now with a wondrous affirmation of life, because i'm listening to the finale of sibelius' symphony no. 2. and i think your haiku's bleak. if i was listening to something else my opinion might be different. i guess you spent a lot of time on it? it brings to my mind a piece of installation art. one white room, with only a pinewood chair from IKEA.
yes, it is kind of bleak. Well... as for spending a lot of time, haikus aren't the sort of thing I spend a lot of time on. Rather you spend a lot of time in preparation and in study before you write one. I wrote it in a flash and edited it once; i think the punctuation really helps.
Very very stark. Really, mind-blowing. Adam r0x0rs. XD
-Bern!
das kommentboarden nicht gespammen bitte!
Haikus lack the symbolism of western forms. Analysis a haiku should (imo) be based on a person's natural reaction to a few combinations of words, not any underlying meaning. Then again, if the image isn't coming right across it probably needs some refinement.
Could you be more specific? What do you mean by 'too simple to be serious'?
It's just so very basic. It doesn't seem to have anything to do with anything. I didn't know it was a serious poem, I just thought perhaps you were being witty by stringing random phrases together, but apparently I was mistaken...
~Xin
You're right on those counts, and it's somewhat intentional. The poem's only an image . It IS serious, but I guess it isn't coming across to everybody. I'll go refine it further. Thanks for the input.
adam
ADAM OMG THIS IS A WORK OF GENIUS.
I don't know exactly what just happened. I think the voidness of its description and the potential for imagination just fit a wide expanse into my mind, hollow and silent. Maybe not silent.
OMG By simplicity you have filled my mind with imagination. Kirei da ne!
And then there's the abrupt ending which kind of hits you really hard on the head, like an epiphany but not one. It's like hearing the crack of a creme brulee and then having it taken away from you.
OMG ADAM WORK OF GENIUS.
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