Friday, September 30, 2005

A raindrop-
Ripples in a lake,
Drowned by the downpour

01: INTREUX

the spring that lightens steps upon the soil;
the sun that brightens faces wrought in toil;
the unawareness of the mortal coil,

will soon give way to summer’s scathing eye;
will feel the fury of the vengeful sky;
will parch the earth and turn the rivers dry,

till autumn brings its blissful tranquil touch;
till cherry blossoms fall in their deluge;
till sunrays slip away before your clutch,

when finally, winter waits upon the world;
when nature, weary, from her toils untold;
when wasted, life retreats beneath the cold.

so goes the age-old story of the earth;
the treasured tale of death, and then rebirth.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm personally very thoroughly impressed. You've done well with the rhyming and have still kept the mood adamant throughout. Not much to say.

~Xin

Anonymous said...

You have a very psalmic style of writing which, while impresses, can sometimes be overdone. Contextually, this fits, but it borders on being a bit heavy. It's almost like hearing a really, REALLY on-the-ball pastor screaming GO WITH GOD YOU BLASPHEMOUS SPAWN OF SATAN at an unbeliever.

Uhm, good stuff though; you know what else would be great for you to write about in this style+theme? Write about Persephone and Demeter. <3

Cheers!
Bern

Derrick said...

haha. just look at the next chapter.

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